"The Devil Went Down to North Cakalaka" a ballad by the Mad Sheep The Devil went down to North Cakalaka, He was looking for a soul to steal. Plus he'd been stuck with a mad fat sack o' Weed that he looking to deal. He stood out by a diner, fronted the dime And decided to check out the menu When he read, "breakfast served any time" He knew that this was the venue. Well he stepped up inside that greasy spoon And he said, "let me speak to the chef." A waitress asked why, he said, "you'll find out soon," And he muttered, "bitch," under his breath. It turns out the chef was a def DJ Born with the name of Johnny He cooked and flipped burgers all the day But flippin' tracks they called him Kid Punani He stepped up to the counter, asked what was the fuss And who in the hell had started it Satan said, "Me, and mind how you cuss." But you could that tell he didn't have his heart in it. The devil said, "My name is Beelzebub, If you like, just call me old Flint. I've heard you're pretty good at cooking grub, And you're known to make the records spin." Johnny said, "That's right, I got what it takes On the griddle and the turntables." Satan said, "I heard that your hot cakes Are the stuff that make up fables. Word's gotten out across the land That your pancakes can't be beat, But I think that I'd like to try my hand 'Cause I think I can compete." Johnny said, "Now you're mincin' words And I don't quite catch your meaning. Talk is cheap, it's just for the birds. Is it towards a bet that you're leaning?" Now Satan likes to be slicker than that And he don't like sass from mortals. But he couldn't hold in that devilish laugh, You should hear the way Satan chortles. Satan snickered, "Yes," and Johnny asked the stakes So the red man pulled it together He said, "If I can make the biggest hot cakes, Well, I'll keep your soul forever." Johnny said, "Yes, but what if I win?" Satan said, "Well, should God will it, I've got something here that'll make you grin." And he pulled out a golden skillet. Johnny said nice, he didn't think twice, He just went and shook the Devil's hand. Satan said, "Now you'll pay the price!" It was going just as he'd planned. Satan cooked first, as it was his idea Man, you should have seen the size of his griddle! Twelve feet wide from there to hear It made a double wide look little! Satan lit it up, mixed up a mess o' batter And began to pour it on He went about his work without no chatter Instead he just hummed this song: [Instrumental] By the time he finished and rulers were out People started to give up hope Satan said, "Johnny, you can give up now." But little Johnny just said, "Nope." Measures were in on Satan's cake Eleven feet and Seven inches, Johnny said, "It's wide, make no mistake, But I've been in bigger pinches." He grabbed himself a hacksaw, went out side Climbed the roof as quick as a fiddle Cause up in the sky, at least twenty feet wide Was a sign shaped just like a griddle! He cut down the sign, which was made of steel And he pushed it down in the back lot Now the Devil just wanted to close this deal But you could tell that he was getting hot He said, "Son, that's good, but if you would Tell me how're you gonna heat that up?" Johnny laughed and said, "Well, I got no wood, But I've got these tires all stacked up." Round back there was a pile of 24 tires And Johnny had a can of lighter fluid He doused the stack, and ready for the fire Turned his head while he put a match to it. There was a sound like a bomb and the blaze was on And Johnny got that look in his eyes He said, "I'm gonna win, or my name ain't John, Old Flint you're in for a surprise!" He greased that skillet and poured in the batter, But then he ran off into his car Satan said, "Boy, you're just making me madder, Don't think that you'll get too far!" Johnny said, "Bitch, I wouldn't give you the pleasure," And he backed up close to the fire Then he made that ass drop just for good measure And he said, "Man, I ain't no liar." He checked the rear view, I swear this is true, And he backed the car under the pan He hit the switches once more and the pancake flew And it landed in the skillet again! He knew he had won, but we wanted more fun So he started the system blastin' Though he heard some complaints from table one He didn't care what the customer was askin'! [singing] He said, "I've almost won, so you can stop bitchin'. NC is cookin' forget Hell's Kitchen. And if you don't like it, Mephistopheles, Like DJ Kool said, you can grab on these." [Instrumental] Johnny jumped out and extinguished the fire And people started measurin' his cake Satan got cold, 'cause the outlook was dire And he knew that he'd made a mistake. The size of the hot cake was so absurd That the Devil knew he'd been beat He gave Johnny the skillet without a word And then he walked off draggin' his feet. Turns out the cake was twenty-one feet wide But it didn't really matter a damn What counted was that Johnny kept his pride Not to mention his soul and that pan! Well he packed his golden skillet into his car And he moved on up to New York, man And he opened up his own diner In a little town called Cortland! [speaking] And if you listen closely while you're sitting in that round booth in the corner, eating your Big Breakfast, you can still hear Johnny singing: [singing] "I beat the Devil, now he's my bitch, and Upstate is cookin' forget Hell's Kitchen. And if you don't like it, Mephistopheles, Like DJ Kool said, you can grab on these."
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