"Phantasia 2k"
by the Council of Doom (with a special shout-out to Kool Keith)

With my six legs, carapace, mandible and mantis eyes
See kids like me mothers contemplate infanticide
Lone locust of the apocalypse, VH1 rocks my clips
My tour bus is hydraulic rocket-ships
Command super-intelligent sewer rats, take my power from 
Third rail transformers, drink the blood of street performers
Mummies and suits of armor break-dance at Natural History
A vagrant's blessing is the secret of my mystery cult
Indoctrination beneath Pennsylvania Station
Fakes get shoved into my EZ-Bake oven
Fake Rolexes in red velvet Chinatown hallways
Scribble  rhymes on stenotype, copyright my genotype
Subliminal plots to assassinate Steinbrenner
Secret meetings with Frank White in Rockefeller Center
The Statue of Liberty sets Gracie Mansion afire
I eat breakfast at Tiffany's, lunch at Gray's Papaya
I Mix Stolichnaya into my serum
Order caviar from the Russian Tea room
My Metrocard is inter-dimensional
Jake Pease, my indestructible sentinel
Police on Broadway look at me an odd way
But those who disgrace me wind up working late at Macy's
Crazier than Black Israel freestylin'
Give it back to the Injuns, I'll sink this lonely island
(I made the kid in Blair Witch throw away the damn map)

Jake Pease, the murderous, the evil mastermind
Trick, Please, you've heard of us, to us the law is blind
The menacing leader of the inter-city council
The Doom is at hand across the land so get a pencil
Write down my stats: Untouchable Evil genius
Endowed like I was the arts, but that's between us
I got a army of mutants like I was Doctor Xavier
I'm out of my padded cell for good behavior
I'm your neighbor, I hide out up in the suburbs
Right now I'm Metropolitan politician, I'm throwing verbs
And swerves and spins I wins elected office
In a much better place to get the Feds up off us
Me and Doc, the bug-eyed bandit--it's just how we planned it
Gonna take over the planet, the reinforcements landed
Mighty Matt the Space Pirate, he's always up to no good
He's in on the plot so we know it's gonna go good
Or well, oh well,  this is Earth on hell
Who's your Daddy now? Who you gonna run and tell?
It's a conspiracy, we control mass transit and cellphones
Newspaper's are now ours, we control airwaves and bank loans
Déjà vu, that's us, we're the ringing in your ears
Our mission is clear: that's to bring mad fear
I hear the sniper in my house, and I gotsta get of here
Then I wake up in the hallway... I've had ten too many beers

return to the Doom

2000 Seafood Cheeselog Trio